Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Athena has a Monster

I don't need a lot of help spooking myself; I have an active imagination and I could write some pretty gruesome tales. I don't watch anything scary. If it has an ounce of scary I won't watch it, read it, or listen to it. It will bother me for too long and disturb my peace too much. Likewise, I keep Athena from anything scary. I don't want her seeing violence, or anything like that. No spooky eerie music, nothing that is intended to spook. At all. I take my peace very seriously and I protect hers. There is a solid strength in a person's peace and it's not something I want to undermine.

Well, she's going through a phase where she won't let us leave her room after we put her in bed for the night. She is afraid. And she's also been waking up at night crying, and I think she's got some fears. She'll look at the top of her dresser like she's afraid of it. She did this a couple months ago then forgot about it, and now she's picking it back up again.

Tonight she pointed at her door and said in a worried tone, "blue eyes, white teeth." My daughter has a monster in her room... :( I asked if he was her friend and she said yes, but that's just because she's agreeable and doesn't know how to verbalize any other answer. So then I gave her some extra toys and books in her bed; I told her to read a book to her babies and I put some kid lullaby music on. Maybe I'll have to put something up on the wall in her room. Like a wow wow wubbzy decal, or princess decal- something that will be sure to chase any monsters away... Some princesses though, -if you stare at them in the dark long enough, start to wiggle their eyebrows and scowl at you. You see what I deal with? There goes my active imagination again. :)

Friday, December 12, 2008

Mundane Observation

I pulled my broom out and started sweeping with it and when my mom saw it she burst into laughter. "What, is so funny?" I asked, amused at her amusement. She pointed, "You call that a broom?" Apparently I've been sweeping with a reject for years and didn't really know it was a problem. She bought me a new one. And. Ohhh. - yes a bit of sarcasm there, but truly; it is an awesome broom. It moves smooth like a plump wet paintbrush. It makes the other one feel like a tree branch scraping in the dirt. I think my floor almost seems happy to be caressed by it.

I have an idea how my former broom got that way; I did have a rabbit who liked to chew on it when I'd sweep. He thought it was an aggressive game the way some dogs chase mowers or water hoses.

And I realize, it's just like me to use something and never realize it could be so much better. It was like that when Conrad suggested I get glasses. I didn't know I had a problem seeing till I almost went off the road in the night. After getting glasses/contacts my world is sooo much better!

Now we are car shopping and I think, "this car still runs, maybe we don't need a new one." But after test driving a few cars we pile into our own college car that we now fit two kids and their chunky car seats into. My knees suddenly feel like they're in my face and the dashboard is dangerously close. We almost gave that car away when it quit starting one day and nobody could fix it. It suddenly came back to life and I've been using it every day for three years since then. It has quirks - sometimes I have to tug on the starter belt to get it to start- that's because it has a flat spot in the ... something. -starter belt.

Anyway- if we find our car we'll sell the college one to my little brother, Mike, for a whopping 100 bucks. And, I can learn to love new stuff.

Birth Story- It's not gross

I always left the room when moms would swap birth stories since the time I was a kid- so I'll try to keep it ungross okay? You're welcome. :)

I was having contractions Saturday night which felt like Braxton’s and then light twinges of cramping in my back.

"Conrad, if this keeps up I think we'll have a baby tonight or tomorrow sometime." I said. We went to bed at about 12 am and I woke at 5:45 am with a start.
"Are you okay?!"
"Yeah I think it's a braxton squeezing a gas bubble." I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I lumbered over to the bathroom. I hung out in there for a while and the 'gas cramps' occurred every three minutes. I knew I was in labor.

"Conrad we're having a baby! Call my mom to come stay with Athena and lets get to the hospital now." Quick rinse in the shower; because if you know my family you know that we don’t know how to leave the house without showering. Half an hour later and we were off. I sat in the back seat behind Conrad. Every minute apart, RIGHT ON the minute I had a contraction that hurt like the dickens. Once at the hospital we parked and every six feet I stopped and crouched on my knees breathing/focusing.

A few people in the parking lot stared. Nurses who were filing into work approached us. They asked if I was okay and when I couldn’t answer Conrad said, “She’s fine.” -He didn’t know what to do. :) I looked up during an off time, smiled sheepishly and said, "Hi, I'm having a baby. Maybe I’ll see you in there." I suggested a wheel chair. One ran to get one and another stayed with me.

When a contraction would end I'd scoot it- like a quick run toward the double doors: "hold on. okay lets go. wait (crouch). okay go (light jog)."- kinda thing.

In the hospital they checked and I was an 8.5 - 9. Holy crap!!! I had wanted an epidural. I NEVER planned to go natural. I was mortified when the doctor said very calmly “it's too late for an epidural, but we can send for a spinal block and hope it kicks in in time.” I got the block and it set in right away. ahhh - like a warm bath. I settled down and enjoyed the warmth. The anesthesiologist said it may wear off in one and a half to three hours- it differs for everyone. So, I told the anesthesiologist not to go far and the nurses laughed about that. “No really- don’t go far” I repeated with a smile.

But... half an hour later each contraction got stronger. It was wearing off minute by minute. It was all happening so fast. I think it was mostly worn off by the time I pushed. It was... wow- hot burn! Really tight. But I loved that I could relax in between pushes. At one point there was a lull as we all waited for the next contraction. I said, "So, does anyone know any good jokes?" We laughed and a couple seconds later I was screaming again. Those last couple pushes I cried in defeat, then he came at exactly nine o’clock. His shoulder got a little stuck. They called that shoulder distosia. He was 9' 12. They put him on me right away and I held his tiny body. He was so pretty! and soft and slimy :) I couldn't hold him long, I was so exhausted. They cleaned him up. The whole time the doc stitched me up (yes numbed)I'd wince then laugh, then wince and laugh; the whole area was tender, yet ticklish. The nurses said that it was a typical reaction.

So, physically I'm recovering really well. Emotionally I’ve recovered a lot too. He's eating well, He mostly sleeps. Day five and he's getting his days and nights sorted out. It was wonderful having Conrad’s mom up to watch him for a night so we could sleep. We really needed that. I'm coming off being very emotional- sad and then really happy. I'm looking forward to spending quality time with both my sweet kids and getting us all on a firm schedule. And getting to know each other again! I miss Athena. She has changed so much and I just want to love every bit of this new her before she's gone again. I had expected to teach her that she wasn’t being replaced, but I hadn’t expected myself to feel like she had been replaced.

He's so tiny and she's so -- enormous! I thought she was little before, but she's a kid now. :)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

pictures now, story later

Here are some pictures of Athena's budding personality. The last one where she is looking up at me makes me want to turn around and make sure she feels like the most important person in the universe, despite her tiny size there.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Athena is Changing

These last few days she has;

Learned to climb up the bar stool onto the counter. She grabbed the biggest knife we own and put it in one of many glass mason jars that were up there with her at the time.

She climbs up on the piano and grabs at the Christmas decorations. She slipped off the piano bench and almost took the decorations with her.

She got her whole body stuck in the six-inch space under her bed. When I ran upstairs to respond to her muffled cries for help I didn't see her anywhere, but once I lifted the dust ruffle I found her laying there, her head wedged between the bed frame's wheel and the headboard.

She bit into one of my prenatal pills but brought it to me, spit out in her hand because it was, "yucky."

She reached into her diaper during nap time and pulled out some poop and painted the carpet with it.

The first thing she did when I showed her her new toy shelving was to climb into it. - This climbing- it's not like her at all- this is totally new.

I stopped her in the nick of time yesterday when she climbed onto her piano and almost pulled a house plant onto her head.

She stumbles and wiggles a lot! It's hard to wash her up and other basics with my huge belly, lack of energy, and slow response time; but that will change in a few weeks :)

Tonight she ran downstairs naked having escaped the bathtub. That's new.

And bud-a-bing, just now as I type this there was a loud bonk against the floor upstairs. She fell out of bed. I found the flush-faced bedhead sitting, confused and cranky in a pile of blankets.

To top it all off she doesn't listen worth beans. Especially while in public. It's very irritating.

But; I love that girl. I need my energy back though. This is really gonna be tough having two.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Creepy Little Mouse

I was talking to Conrad on the phone when I saw this creepy mouse shadow. We hung up and I opened the blinds to reveal a little gray mouse. He crawled all over the screen for a while and then he fell eight feet to the cement below and scurried off. I didn't know what to do with it or myself so I took video footage.

I showed the video to Athena and she put her hands over her heart and said, "cute yidder mouse." (yidder = little)When he fell down she looked at me alarmed and started to cry. I told her, "It's okay he's happy! He ran off to the garden." she felt reassured and told me, "ty again" (try again - meaning she wants me to replay)

Click here to see the video Creepy Mouse

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Photo Update

Christmas Dress

Athena's got the camera
Painted the Nursery!! That was a fun date.
Athena and I were dancing to a slow song and she suddenly grabbed my face and wouldn't let me go. We had a moment. :)
On our way home from visiting Grandma Patty, Athena fell asleep with some loot she got while we were there.
We took a little tour of the farm.
And tried out the tire swing. Don't crack jokes about my size! I was dubbed the cranky rhino earlier- I only learned this AFTER I was in the car all dressed in... gray! Hehe- with the mood to match the title.
Playing with daddy after work.