Family Update

Athena likes to hunt for candy eggs. Every day I put a few jelly beans in five or six eggs and she hunts for them in the living room or backyard. She asked me for "pot and tandy" yesterday. She meant cotton candy. She stuck a small black bean up her nose a few days ago. She alerted me and I looked up her nostril. Sure enough there was a black bean. I told her to blow. She sniffed. I said, "No, blow like this." She sniffed. So the bean disappeared up her nose and was never seen again.

Athena is learning that people have different preferences: She had her first sweet cantaloupe and she liked it. I asked her, "Does Mommy like cantaloupe?"
"Yes!"
"Does Daddy like cantaloupe?"
"Yes!"
I smiled. "Nope, Daddy does not like cantaloupe. He thinks it's yucky."
She thought for a second. "No! Daddy likes cantaloupe!"
I smiled. "You want to call him and find out?"
So we called him on the phone and he told her he did not like cantaloupe.
"Does Daddy like cantaloupe?"
She smiled. "No."

Carson uses his neck and stomach muscles to crunch up like he wants to sit. It will be a while, but he's showing interest. He's got the baby bald spot on the back of his head. He has a bit of eczema on his face- my genes at work there. But he doesn't complain about it. We use Eucerine. He's coming outside with us in the evenings now for as long as he will allow it, now that it's warmer. He loves when Athena talks to him. He just lights up. She talks to him like I do; It's so funny to hear her call him, "yidda man," or "yidda boy." Or "is otay, tarson; don't fuss." "Be happy!" she says energetically. And it works for a little while. She puts his bink in his mouth. Funny how I go to talk about Carson and say more about Athena, but they are a package deal I guess. He is a well-adjusted, solid, and happy kid.

Everything is blooming and leafing out in the backyard!! I am having so much fun watching it all grow. I know all my little trees will grow another one to three feet taller this year. Every evening we go outside and play in dirt, rocks, water, and weeds.


Conrad put a play set together and got very sunburned doing it. (I had asked him if he wanted sunscreen. He said, "no, the first sunburn of the year is the rite of passage into summer.")
"Look at the park Daddy built for you!" I told Athena.
She replied, "No, unca Dan buiwd my part."
(Athena was inside during the sunniest part of the day and hadn't seen Conrad out there all Saturday. She did however come out in the evening with me and saw uncle Dan helping with the swing set a little.)

Kiddo Update

Carson is three months old. He sleeps and eats great. His 'teeth' are beginning to move under his gums and bother him. He is happy boy though. He doesn't really complain much. He fusses when he's about to fall asleep and that's about it. pretty chill. It's so different having a boy- he is one solid kid. kind of tall I think. Chubbier than Athena was- she never had any chub. He likes to be sung to - fun songs like "Jesus wants me for a suuun BEAN!" and I make up rhymes on the spot. Some days I'm good at it, but other days, I'm not.

When we're driving in the car and he gets cranky I sing the "sun beam song" it makes him coo and smile, but Athena has appointed herself the singing police and she tries to silence me, so it's either he cries and she's quiet, or he's cooing and she complains that I'm singing.

She has begun to throw temper tantrums as of a week ago. She averages about 5 a day. I put her in her room and when she's done raging she can come out. "I happy now." she says with a tear streaked face. It's wearing to be around this raw emotion all day. It makes me want to throw my own adult form of a temper tantrum, and I have, but I never feel good after, so I have to be careful not to let her emotions rule mine.

I think she shocked herself yesterday but I'm not certain. She plays with her night light; turns it off and on, unscrews the bulb from the socket- yeah a bit scary. BUT yesterday I noticed she pulled the glass bulb out of the metal encasing when she was playing in her room before her nap. The encasing stayed inside the night light socket and the bulb hung from the encasing by a metal thread. It looked really dangerous so I took the night light away and later when I talked to her about how she won't have a light tonight, because it's broken, she said, "yeah, an i hurt my theener." (finger) We talked about it for a while and it seemed like she might have shocked herself. It would have happened while I was in the shower for fifteen minutes. But she's happy and there's no blood. So.. I guess we're good.

I still edit and really like it. I go to a gym I just joined and really like it. Athena says, "I wanna goda-a bym" (go to the gym). They go to the kid's cove while I work out. (Freedom Fitness in Kuna)
Conrad dutifully plays World of Warcraft with Vanessa (his sister). Funny thing; he woke up yesterday from a couch nap and spoke kind of rushed, "Vanessa.... get that..." something something something. I thought he was calling me Vanessa, and he thought he was playing World of Warcraft. Here is a picture of Athena and her friend taking a wheel barrow ride.

Athena has a Monster

I don't need a lot of help spooking myself; I have an active imagination and I could write some pretty gruesome tales. I don't watch anything scary. If it has an ounce of scary I won't watch it, read it, or listen to it. It will bother me for too long and disturb my peace too much. Likewise, I keep Athena from anything scary. I don't want her seeing violence, or anything like that. No spooky eerie music, nothing that is intended to spook. At all. I take my peace very seriously and I protect hers. There is a solid strength in a person's peace and it's not something I want to undermine.

Well, she's going through a phase where she won't let us leave her room after we put her in bed for the night. She is afraid. And she's also been waking up at night crying, and I think she's got some fears. She'll look at the top of her dresser like she's afraid of it. She did this a couple months ago then forgot about it, and now she's picking it back up again.

Tonight she pointed at her door and said in a worried tone, "blue eyes, white teeth." My daughter has a monster in her room... :( I asked if he was her friend and she said yes, but that's just because she's agreeable and doesn't know how to verbalize any other answer. So then I gave her some extra toys and books in her bed; I told her to read a book to her babies and I put some kid lullaby music on. Maybe I'll have to put something up on the wall in her room. Like a wow wow wubbzy decal, or princess decal- something that will be sure to chase any monsters away... Some princesses though, -if you stare at them in the dark long enough, start to wiggle their eyebrows and scowl at you. You see what I deal with? There goes my active imagination again. :)

Mundane Observation

I pulled my broom out and started sweeping with it and when my mom saw it she burst into laughter. "What, is so funny?" I asked, amused at her amusement. She pointed, "You call that a broom?" Apparently I've been sweeping with a reject for years and didn't really know it was a problem. She bought me a new one. And. Ohhh. - yes a bit of sarcasm there, but truly; it is an awesome broom. It moves smooth like a plump wet paintbrush. It makes the other one feel like a tree branch scraping in the dirt. I think my floor almost seems happy to be caressed by it.

I have an idea how my former broom got that way; I did have a rabbit who liked to chew on it when I'd sweep. He thought it was an aggressive game the way some dogs chase mowers or water hoses.

And I realize, it's just like me to use something and never realize it could be so much better. It was like that when Conrad suggested I get glasses. I didn't know I had a problem seeing till I almost went off the road in the night. After getting glasses/contacts my world is sooo much better!

Now we are car shopping and I think, "this car still runs, maybe we don't need a new one." But after test driving a few cars we pile into our own college car that we now fit two kids and their chunky car seats into. My knees suddenly feel like they're in my face and the dashboard is dangerously close. We almost gave that car away when it quit starting one day and nobody could fix it. It suddenly came back to life and I've been using it every day for three years since then. It has quirks - sometimes I have to tug on the starter belt to get it to start- that's because it has a flat spot in the ... something. -starter belt.

Anyway- if we find our car we'll sell the college one to my little brother, Mike, for a whopping 100 bucks. And, I can learn to love new stuff.

Birth Story- It's not gross

I always left the room when moms would swap birth stories since the time I was a kid- so I'll try to keep it ungross okay? You're welcome. :)

I was having contractions Saturday night which felt like Braxton’s and then light twinges of cramping in my back.

"Conrad, if this keeps up I think we'll have a baby tonight or tomorrow sometime." I said. We went to bed at about 12 am and I woke at 5:45 am with a start.
"Oh!"
"Are you okay?!"
"Yeah I think it's a braxton squeezing a gas bubble." I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I lumbered over to the bathroom. I hung out in there for a while and the 'gas cramps' occurred every three minutes. I knew I was in labor.

"Conrad we're having a baby! Call my mom to come stay with Athena and lets get to the hospital now." Quick rinse in the shower; because if you know my family you know that we don’t know how to leave the house without showering. Half an hour later and we were off. I sat in the back seat behind Conrad. Every minute apart, RIGHT ON the minute I had a contraction that hurt like the dickens. Once at the hospital we parked and every six feet I stopped and crouched on my knees breathing/focusing.

A few people in the parking lot stared. Nurses who were filing into work approached us. They asked if I was okay and when I couldn’t answer Conrad said, “She’s fine.” -He didn’t know what to do. :) I looked up during an off time, smiled sheepishly and said, "Hi, I'm having a baby. Maybe I’ll see you in there." I suggested a wheel chair. One ran to get one and another stayed with me.

When a contraction would end I'd scoot it- like a quick run toward the double doors: "hold on. okay lets go. wait (crouch). okay go (light jog)."- kinda thing.

In the hospital they checked and I was an 8.5 - 9. Holy crap!!! I had wanted an epidural. I NEVER planned to go natural. I was mortified when the doctor said very calmly “it's too late for an epidural, but we can send for a spinal block and hope it kicks in in time.” I got the block and it set in right away. ahhh - like a warm bath. I settled down and enjoyed the warmth. The anesthesiologist said it may wear off in one and a half to three hours- it differs for everyone. So, I told the anesthesiologist not to go far and the nurses laughed about that. “No really- don’t go far” I repeated with a smile.

But... half an hour later each contraction got stronger. It was wearing off minute by minute. It was all happening so fast. I think it was mostly worn off by the time I pushed. It was... wow- hot burn! Really tight. But I loved that I could relax in between pushes. At one point there was a lull as we all waited for the next contraction. I said, "So, does anyone know any good jokes?" We laughed and a couple seconds later I was screaming again. Those last couple pushes I cried in defeat, then he came at exactly nine o’clock. His shoulder got a little stuck. They called that shoulder distosia. He was 9' 12. They put him on me right away and I held his tiny body. He was so pretty! and soft and slimy :) I couldn't hold him long, I was so exhausted. They cleaned him up. The whole time the doc stitched me up (yes numbed)I'd wince then laugh, then wince and laugh; the whole area was tender, yet ticklish. The nurses said that it was a typical reaction.

So, physically I'm recovering really well. Emotionally I’ve recovered a lot too. He's eating well, He mostly sleeps. Day five and he's getting his days and nights sorted out. It was wonderful having Conrad’s mom up to watch him for a night so we could sleep. We really needed that. I'm coming off being very emotional- sad and then really happy. I'm looking forward to spending quality time with both my sweet kids and getting us all on a firm schedule. And getting to know each other again! I miss Athena. She has changed so much and I just want to love every bit of this new her before she's gone again. I had expected to teach her that she wasn’t being replaced, but I hadn’t expected myself to feel like she had been replaced.

He's so tiny and she's so -- enormous! I thought she was little before, but she's a kid now. :)

pictures now, story later

Here are some pictures of Athena's budding personality. The last one where she is looking up at me makes me want to turn around and make sure she feels like the most important person in the universe, despite her tiny size there.