Photo Update

Reading stacks of library books

Getting bigger (Due Nov 30th)

And Conrad's soccer season just ended

I admit, I am a Spy

Athena was playing with the baby monitor first thing this morning and it picked up someone else's house. It was a man saying somewhat grumpily, "What are you doing?" to which there was no answer. Well I am nosy and a bit of a muckraker; I left it on and carried it downstairs with me as I made up some breakfast for us. I heard nothing until the father spoke with the baby who's words seemed to say, "I'm two." The father sang twinkle twinkle little star and the baby copied it. It was sweet. No abuse there. Good. I was satisfied with that and turned it off.

I admit, I am a spy. I like to know about my neighbors. And it's not always to collect shady info; one of my neighbors keeps an immaculate lawn. He does all his yard work on Mondays because Monday is his day off. He ALWAYS mows in a tie-died shirt. Always. A couple weeks ago he mowed on a Tuesday and NOT in a tie died shirt. Boy did that shake my world up! :)

Another of my neighbors who has since moved out, had two pit bulls I could see from my upstairs window. I once suspected that neighbor of involving his dogs in dog fight rings. But no evidence ever came of it, and it was most likely untrue.

Another neighbor spoke rudely to his wife while they set up a summer slide and pool for their three year old. -I was in my backyard too, just in earshot. When the wife made an almost inaudible suggestion on how to add shade to the set up, the husband said somewhat explosively, "that's stupid (wife's name)!" When this man talks you can hear him a couple backyards away. He is loud and bossy and abrasive. And I have often suspected him of verbal abuse. They always leave their backyard house light on. - that has nothing to do with abuse- it's just something I noticed.

Most of my suspicions are ungrounded and would never hold up in court, but I still watch. I keep an ear out for anything usual or unusual. I typically know every house who owns a dog and what breed of dog it is; that's because I am irrationally afraid of dogs and I feel like the more I 'know' which houses are 'dog' houses the more in control of the situation I am in. It actually heightens my anxiety over it and I am in fact in less control because I decided to care and take notice, instead of coasting by the house blissfully unaware. And really- I have to be careful because I have seen myself, on some days, turning into one of those hermits who never leaves her house but watches the world through mini blinds. okay that sounds like I sit by the window all day long. -no, I don't do that. But when I walk by my windows I look out them. Athena pulls me out of it because, she has social needs, and it's my job to see those needs are met.

Otherwise who knows what I would become!

Which 'Child' are You?

Here's a poem I learned from MIL that is kind of fun:

Monday's child is fair of face
Tuesday's child is full of grace
Wednesday's child is full of woe
Thursday's child has far to go
Friday's child is loving and giving
Saturday's child works hard for a living
But the child born on the Sabbath day
is fair and wise and good and gay.
- Mother Goose

To calculate your day of birth plug in your numbers here: Calculate Day of Birth


I'm a Wednesday
Conrad is a Sunday
Athena is a Tuesday

We went to the Zoo

We went to the zoo and Athena's favorite was the monkey cage. She kept mentioning "thatsa' mommy," "thasa' daddy," "thasa' baby." She is making sense of her world and classifies every adult male as a daddy, every woman as a mommy, and every kid as a baby. Yesterday she said, "bye bye daddy!" to the trash man. Uh oh Conrad.

Yesterday she stood on a chair and looked intently on a fly that came to sit on the chair's back. She gave it her sweetest smile, hunkered her little back down in a humble proposition as she cupped both her baby hands toward the bug. She directed some baby-lish at the fly in a sweet sing-song voice. Her face was the epitome of sweet humility; I just had to stop and enjoy it for a bit. I was going to record it, but the camera was upstairs, so I just watched instead. She gently moved her cupped palms toward the bug, entreating it to hop inside, but it flew away. She laughed as it buzzed around her. And - she goes back and forth: The other day I let her play with a worm and the worm ended up in a few crumbly pieces. Slugs though- they are very durable and she likes their little searching eyes. So unless her hands are salty, slugs are the best outdoor toy.

She loves her Aunt Leah, my little sister who's 16 years old. We are 11 years apart and Leah is 14 years older than Athena so it's like history repeating itself. They really hit it off! We visited grandma's house and I walked into Leah's room to find the two of them sitting on Leah's bed surrounded by soft fleece animals, and pink things, and other little 'pretties' that girls play with. Athena was smiling up at Leah with this total look of excited admiration. In her hand was a chap stick. Athena loves chap stick. I don't know why, but it makes her feel so special to have it in her little hand and reapply it every couple seconds. I've had to take it away in the past because it's messy on a cream colored couch. If she didn't dig in it I'd let her hold it longer. Anyway she looked up at me with this excited special smile and her eyes got big like she was about to have to protect her happy girlish moment. But I wasn't there to confiscate the chap stick. I kissed her head and said, "Do you have chap stick?!" She giggled excitedly. "You feel special!" Then I left the two of them to each other. Later I joked with Leah, "One of these days I won't be cool anymore and she's going to turn to you. You better steer her right!" :)

And an update on me: I'm 33 weeks along so only 7 weeks left to go! Holy moly- I'm in no hurry! Every time I hum baby kicks, and I like knowing one predictable thing about him. Every time I sing Athena says, "No! no! no!" What gives?! I have a relatively nice singing voice. (shrug)I have really enjoyed editing lately. I like being part of a team and being depended on outside of the family. It gives me a different angle of fulfillment that I don't find in my other favorite occupation... -that's mommy; just in case you inferred that I'm selling drugs or some other undercover shady deals.

I'm a scout leader for bears. I like being around those 'male' personalities. The over-excited hyped up immaturity common to that age is annoying and I'm not very patient with it. But on their better behavior, the male humor is refreshing; there's a certain open frankness there, and they just take life as it rolls. They don't over-think or hide their 'true feelings' about things. I can't find the right words right now, but a room full of boys and a room full of girls are such different rooms! I appreciate both, but I appreciate very different things about them. Each room is an entirely different experience.

I've been working in my garden, pulling weeds thigh high because it drives me crazy to see them and I hate to admit I was defeated by weeds once again this year. So come fall I hope to have it looking tidy before the snow hits. My Stella cherry looks diseased- still trying to figure out what it is. I canned a LOT of stuff this year and have really enjoyed doing it. I love seeing stocked shelves that I know will last roughly a year.

Here's what I did:
29 qts Peaches
31 pts Green beans -our own garden
16 pts and 11 qts Pears
7 qts Applesauce
4 qts Pickles
9 pts Apple pie filling
13 pts Tomato chunks - own garden (there's a lot more to come)
4 qts Tomato sauce
7 pts Salsa
10 qts apple slices
9 pts apple pie filling
1 qt apple butter

A picture would say a lot more, but maybe after I'm all done with it.

And last we put up Halloween decorations. Athena loves Halloween. She's catching the spirit of fun in it. I put up a little ghostie in the front yard that sways in the wind. -I've scared myself twice now as it moved in the corner of my eye. - lame? yes.

Four Year Olds

At the library today Athena approached a four or five year old girl who was playing kid games on one of the computers. Athena had just surveyed all the stuffed animals in the library and had not found a single Elmo, so she was talking about it. She was asking the little girl, "Es Elmo?" (Where's Elmo) and then pointing at the girl's screen- a shapes matching game- "ooh! sat?" (Ooh what's that?) For the first time the girl turned from her game and said to Athena, "Will you go away?" then went back to her game. That didn't mean a thing to Athena. I half redirected her to an older girl who was cordial enough to say hi, but Athena found herself back at the younger girl's desk. The girl took off her fat headphones, looked up at me, and said, "Will you take her away? I don't want to listen to her boss me around." Without hearing my response she put her fat headphones back on and returned to her game.

Surprised and annoyed I took Athena's tiny hand in mine and led her to some book shelves. Wow.

In times past I watched a four year old shake a 12-month old Athena's hand off his shirt when she used him as a climbing/steadying rail. He was pretty annoyed with her. In another instance Athena ran down the driveway toward the two neighbor kids (who always stare at me and ask me never-ending questions - all of which have obvious answers.) She ran toward them in sheer delight; "hi! hi! hi!" she said ecstatically. As I watched her, new at walking, I hoped she wouldn't face plant on the cement. Athena looked up at the four year old girl, eyes shining for finding a new friend. The girl eyed her with a shrug and said, "I don't like babies much."

And I suppose it's normal four year old behavior. I suppose Athena will be the same way. Who knows? I'm new at this every step of the way. For now- I'm glad she doesn't understand all the rejection. I know mothers protect their children with their lives. All their heart, thoughts, love, and identity are tied into their children. Yet those very children we protect and direct- those same kids we invest all our worries, concerns and heart into - are tough! They are walking around - loved in unspeakable ways, worried for in unmeasurable amounts, and they have no clue! And the carefree kid world they live in is far different than the world adults see. I look at her innocence and I foresee it being incredibly difficult for me to send her out into a world that doesn't value her the way I do. But she will be fine, because even she doesn't understand that very value I hold for her, despite the fact that she's surrounded by it every minute of every day. That raw emotion that adults understand; the sweetest of the sweet and the bitterest of the bitter, children are protected from in a lair of unawareness. And it makes me wonder what other emotions are 'out there' that I haven't felt yet. Some emotions I hope never to experience the depth of. But it's undeniable how those emotions change our rationale and our 'person.' I see God as the ultimate parent and imagine myself as the child often. It puts life in perspective: I am four years old.

Some Favorite Scriptures

Alma 30: 27-28. Korihor, the anti-Christ, speaking here:
"And thus ye lead away the people after the foolish traditions of your fathers, and according to your own desires; and ye keep them down, even as it were in bondage, that ye may glut yourselves with the labors of their hands, that they durst not look up with boldness, and that they durst not enjoy their rights and privileges. Yea they durst not make use of that which is their own lest they should offend their priests, who do yoke them according to their desires, and have brought them to believe, by their traditions and their dreams and whims and their visions and their pretended mysteries, that they should, if they did not do according to their words, offend some unknown being, who they say is God- A being who never has been seen or known, who never was nor ever will be."

I like this clear depiction of this common line of thinking found even today. It's believable because it has a thread of truth; history proves many times over that people are controlled and coerced in the name of religion. But it is not the case in most religions. Most religions serve the need of the individual.

Alma counters, "Not withstanding the many labors which I have preformed in the church, I have never received so much as one senine for my labor... And now, if we do not receive anything for our labors in the church, what doth it profit us to labor in the church save it were to declare the truth, that we may have rejoicings in the joy of our brethren? And now believest thou that we deceive this people that causes so much joy in their hearts?"

1 Corinthians 2:13-14
"...we speak not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man perceiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: For they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."

1 Nephi 21:23
"They shall not be ashamed that wait for me."

2 Nephi 8:12-13
"I am he; yay, I am he that comforteth you. Behold, who art thou, that thou shouldst be afraid of man, who shall die, and of the son of man, who shall be made like unto grass? And forgettest the Lord thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth..."

2 Nephi 12:22
"Cease ye from man, whose breath is in his nostrils; for wherein is he to be accounted of?"

Alma 22:18 (A re-occurring favorite)
"Oh God...if there is a God, and if thou art God, will thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee..."

Athena update

I was about to climb in the bath with Athena when she looked at me with an easy smile and articulately said, "tou ah siddy mamma" (you are silly mama). It really floored me! I wasn't expecting it. I laughed and repeated it too like I do with every new thing she says. I climbed in feeling a little self conscious. Maybe she's getting too old for baths with mommy. Conrad has decided she's too old for bath time with him. Maybe a little longer. My baby's growing up! She'll be two in December.

Today I brought a green-shielded stink bug in from the garage for her to look at. We watched it crawl around on the kitchen chair, and floor, and on my hand. She wanted to hold it, but then got squeamish. She laughed a lot. She was really enjoying it. When he sprouted his wings and flew around we both recoiled in girly giggles.

"Should I put him outside?" I asked her.
"Yes!" she said.

On the way out the door he flew to the window and we caught him again. We watched as he stepped off my hand and crawled around on the cement. We sat a while looking over there, talking about this and that, and suddenly, I smelled a stink bug.

She had sat right on him and when I picked her up he was pretty maimed, but still alive.

"Uh-oh, the bug got an owie." I said. She was concerned. Of course she didn't know it was her fault. I finished the job with a smooth stone and knew that if she saw it smashed against the pavement she might cry about it. After all, it was her little friend for a while and she is sensitive to those things. So I left him under the stone and said, "Bye-bye bug. Come, come Athena; we go inside now."

A few other words:
She knocks on doors and announces, "poming!" (coming)
She learned from Elmo, "Ta-da!" She stands on the table, hands outstretched. "Ta-da!" We're working on not standing on the table. It was okay for a while, but it really shouldn't be.

She asks me for the fly-swatter and smacks at the house flies, but she hasn't succeeded in getting any yet. It frustrates her. Just wait, she'll get good and then it'll be her job. The way she asks for things is, "peas!" (please)I hear that all day long. :)